To An Unknown Iraqi

I am a little cluster bomb
You must be wondering where I’m from

I’m from your dear friends in the west
For you must know that they know best

I’ll liberate you and your kin
Take Saddam out, put George Bush in

I’ve come to bring you peace at last
Please just ignore the odd bomb blast

I’ve come to make you proud and free
With Big Macs, Coke and MTV

I’ll try not to blow you clean apart
The truth is though, I’m not that smart

I’ll sort out access to your gas
For those good old boys back in Tex-ass

I hope you’re pleased to see me landing
Collateral damage notwithstanding

We’ll take the nerve gas from Saddam
(you know, like what we used in Vietnam)

Its not that I like to maim and kill
But if I don’t get you the sanctions will

‘course we’ll have to meet in secrecy
For I’m not allowed on the BBC

But I’ll be there, no ifs or buts
For doing this job takes lots of guts

And think, your death won’t be in vain
You’ll never have to fear again

And if wild sounds should reach your ears
It’ll be the White House saying “Cheers!”

And Mr Blair and Mr Straw
Will say, “Oh, What A Lovely War!”

Well, here I come, hey! – all the best!
And remember, dulce et decorum est!